Help! I've been invaded

I'm sure you think I'm talking about the little creature that is now growing in my belly but actually I'm talking about myself. I actually feel like I have been invaded by ME!

Weird I know.

But here's the deal. This body that I'm in is not myself. Way deep down inside I am myself but I'm now living in a body that is no longer mine. Huh?

It's a swollen, off balance, awkward, achy, leaky (let me clarify that one....this body likes to leak a lot of salty tear water from it's eyes at any unknown moment), very small brain capacity (can't remember what it was doing to do 2 seconds ago) and has another living growing creature in it's belly that kicks, punches and rolls all around.

All of this is part of a former version of what I used to look like in the mirror.

Ok, I might be getting a little out there but really...it's one of the strangest things that some of us women are so lucky to experience in our lifetimes. Yes lucky...in what other circumstance could we go through such dramatic and sometimes very uncomfortable changes and know that it is also one of the most wonderful, amazing and miraculous things that only we women are so lucky to experience.

Don't get me wrong...I do have many moments where I feel beautiful, blessed and changed for the better in many ways. I mean it's not only your body that changes through this process but also your entire being. I'm still working it all out but I have to say this is also a spiritual journey that is going to forever change the person I am. More details on that at a later date.

That being said...still I've gone and invaded a body that was once mine and... it's just plain WEIRD.

Finally I found my Midwife!

Living in NYC, such a progressive city, I thought that finding a midwife would be much easier than it was. Even though the actual geographical area is quite small there seem to be clear lines marking how far some midwives will travel if you are doing a home birth. It was actually quite hard to find a generous selection of midwives to chose from. Most listings all consisted of the same 10-12 people/practices. Out of those 10-12 some were already booked up during my September delivery date, others would not travel to my area (Bronx, NY) and others I just didn't feel a connection with. The one's I spoke to were nice but just didn't have that open/warmness I was looking for. (somewhat consistent with the same lack of connection I have found with the majority of New Yorkers I have encountered since I moved here 4.5 years ago...still I was surprised). There seemed to be a air of what I can only describe as pretentiousness or superiority that just really turned me off. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure this is not the case for the majority of midwives out there. Unfortunately, it's just what I encountered in my process of searching.

Finally...I met Linda. Yesterday Tony and I traveled to her home office in NJ (about an hour drive in traffic and snow from our Bronx apartment). The moment she opened the door I felt like we already knew one another! She welcomed us in with a big smile and a huge hug. Yeayyyyy what a relief...she was so welcoming, warm and open that (even if she couldn't tell) I was beaming on the inside. She took her time with us and was willing to talk through any and all subjects and questions that we had. It was great and I knew immediately that our search was over. Here is a link for her website in case you are ever looking for a great midwife in NY: http://www.completewomanmidwifery.com/

Our first appointment is next Friday March 4th and we are really looking forward to it. Finding out that you are pregnant as early as we did (4 weeks) really makes this first trimester seem like forever and I've gotten a little anxious wanting to make sure that we are on track and to get some questions finally answered. I've been really great at reading books and researching on the Internet but there is nothing like speaking directly with a professional who you know is looking out for your best interests.

Side note...I know it's been a few weeks since I last wrote. I did experience a few weeks of lovely nauseousness and extreme exhaustion. I just couldn't bring my self to write about anything unless it was to complain about how crappy I felt! Now that I'm almost 13 weeks I do think I'm starting to feel better and get my energy back. I did notice over the last couple of days I did get slammed with pretty nasty headache, which I never used to get. It wasn't until I got my weekly pregnancy update email for 12 weeks did I learn that that's exactly when those "pregnancy headaches" can start to set it. It was funny to realize that at least I am on track with that!

How was your experience finding a midwife?

Am I really pregnant?

With exception of all the "symptoms" I've been feeling I still don't think my brain is fully wrapped around this whole idea that there is a growing baby inside of me. When will it kick in? Maybe when the baby actually kicks me! Ha.

Many women experience pregnancy differently but I thought I would share what I've experienced so far for you other 1st time mothers that are as new and as boggled by this whole experience as I am.

I thought I was a lucky one that was not going to get sick....ahhh...did I speak too soon or what!

At week 5 and through the first part of week 6 with the exception of cramping and sore breasts I felt great. Then the second half of week six until now (starting week 8) I have developed what I now know is "Morning Sickness". Never having been pregnant before I thought morning sickness what something you felt once a day and you just got sick and threw up. Well maybe for some that is the case but for me it has been an off and on again nausea of my entire body. It's not subject to just one time of day...it lasts all day long. I'm still cramping here and there, swollen and sore breasts, nausea, headaches, serious exhaustion (that has me couch bound all day long for the last week and half), crazy-ass dreams (wasn't expecting that), peeing what seems like every 20 mins (probably once and hour or so....and that started just after week 4...way earlier than I ever thought would happen) oh and last but not least-constipation...lovely.

I know there is no way I am eating enough but man is it hard to put anything in my mouth. Ginger ale or Ginger tea helps, the cracker thing....ummm...not so much.

I can't wait for the next trimester to come and that I'm one of the lucky ones that will feel better once week 13 or so hits!

So now I'm starting week 8 and here's what's happening:
(don't forget to go to www.allnaturalparent.com where I got the info and amazing images!)

• Cartilage and bones begin to form - At the end of this week your baby will have already

             completed 1/5th of the journey 'til his birthday!

• The basic structure of the eye is well underway - The position is more "newborn" like already!

• The tongue begins to develop

• Intestines move out of the umbilical cord into the abdomen.

• Body grows and makes room - Two months along and this little one is growing inside and out by leaps and bounds!

• The fingers and toes have appeared but are webbed and short

• Baby's length (crown to rump) is 0.61 inch (1.6cm) and weight is 0.04 ounce (1gm)

**Find the above info/images at www.allnaturalparent.com